Sunday, March 11, 2012

How to rekindle a broken marriage, or fix a broken relationship

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I?m sure a lot of guys out there would appreciate some advice on how to go about rekindling their broken marriage.

The first step to rekindling a broken marriage is to provide some space for each other. If the marriage has broken down, it is fair to say that in order for us to be able to fix it, we need to be able to step back from the problem and really assess what went wrong. So I think that?s the first step, and it can be a really challenging one at that.

I think, ultimately however, the mindset that people want to develop, whether it concerns a marriage or some other broken relationship, is not one of I want to rekindle this relationship, but one of I want to go out and explore myself, invest in myself and add more value to my life; and perhaps in doing so I?m going to become a more well-rounded person, a more tolerant person, and a more intelligent and educated person.

People need to be going out, saying they want to spend some time away from their partner, to take up some different activities that?ll allow them to invest in themselves, which will, should they so wish, win them back. But it?s not going to be as effective if they can?t fully remove themselves from that person?s life. There?s not necessarily a time frame for that. Sometimes, that might be as little as two weeks, sometimes it might be a month, sometimes it might be six months, or sometimes it might be years that are required.

What we often find with people who get into marriages is that their priorities in life often change. Who they are as a person will often change and so when they look back on what attracted them to someone at the very beginning it?s not necessarily going to still have that same impact.

So there is the common suggestion of going back and looking at what you were attracted to at the beginning and finding that in the person once again, but it?s not guaranteed to work. Worse yet is when people who are in a relationship which isn?t really working out, then get married in the hopes that it will make things better. Of course, marriage won?t change who you are, and you shouldn?t expect it to improve your life.

What I think you need to be doing is to keep reinventing yourself, and keep reinventing the relationship. Keep things fresh, in other words. Perhaps try looking for new things that might attract you to the person. But the starting point has to be to take some time away from each other.

Quite frequently with relationships I focus on building a sexual connection first. If I?m looking at rekindling a relationship what I want to focus on first is building comfort. Just making the person feel comfortable in your presence. Just building a friendship, being just a genuinely nice person, being there for them in emotional times and if you can sustain that comfort and build that comfort again, then you can move things a little bit more to a sexual level and start to rebuild the sexual energy again.

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Tags: Free Love and Relationship Advice, getting back with my girlfriend, getting back with my wife, how to fix a broken relationship, how to get back with an ex, rekindle an old relationship, rekindling a broken marriage

Category: Articles, Getting over broken relationships, How to get advise that will work for you, Relationship advice

Source: http://vindicarlo.com/how-to-rekindle-a-broken-marriage-or-fix-a-broken-relationship

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